Domestic Abuse Support

Do you feel that you change your behaviour with your partner or former partner because you are frightened of what might happen? If so, you might be in an abusive relationship. If you are experiencing abuse of any kind, by your partner or former partner, there are a range of support services available that can help you to find ways to be safe, cope with what is happening to either you, your partner or other member of the family and to change the status quo and start the journey of recovery.

Domestic abuse includes verbal and non verbal abuse, controlling and coercive behaviour, physical, economic, sexual and emotional and psychological abuse.

If you believe that you may be abusing your partner and would like to speak to someone about how to stop, there are links below to services that specialise in supporting such change.

Mediation should only take place if it is safe for you both to take part. It is a voluntary process and so both of you should feel able to discuss matters without fear of harm for yourself or your children. If you are not sure whether this will be possible, call Adrienne Cox, the family mediator at Devon & Exeter Mediation Practice to discuss in more detail.

Use this link to find organisations in your area that support victims of crime: Call 01392 475900 or go to the website at https://victimcaredevonandcornwall.org.uk/Victim-Support/

Call 999 if in danger or 101 to report abuse.

Some recommended services that are both National and in the Devon area are:

· Domestic abuse support services

FearFree is a charity that supports people who are currently or who have recently experienced domestic abuse and provides support services in the Devon County Council area. Call on 0345 1551074 or see their website on www.fearfree.org.uk/refer/devon/
SAFE (Stop Abuse for Everyone) is a charity that supports families to recover from trauma including domestic abuse in Devon area. Call them on 03030 300112 or see their website at https://www.safe-services.org.uk
Voices: Domestic Abuse Commissioner support is a virtual platform for victicms/survivors of domestic abuse and violence. See their website at domesticabusecommissioner.uk/voicesatthedac/
Young voices is a charity that supports 5-17 years old who have experienced domestic abuse. See thier webiste at junowomensaid.org.uk/young-voices/
Standing Tall is a partnership of local community groups and organisations that have come together to provide a range of local support to people in Torbay who have experienced domestic abuse or sexual violence www.areyouok.co.uk/i-need-help/community-support/
Barnardos and the Empower Kids project: this website helps people understand what children and young people say about domestic abuse and provides helpful resources. See this at

www.barnardos.ie/our-services/work-with-families/childhood-domestic-violence-abuse/cdva-practioners-resources/cdva-what-children-young-people-have-to-say/

The Mankind Initiative is a charity that supports male victims of domestic abuse. Call on 01823 334244 or see their website on https://www.mankind.org.uk
Respect work with both male victims and male perpetrators to prevent abuse. Call them on 0203 5596650 or see their website at https://www.respect.uk.net
Women’s Aid Call on 0808 2000 24724 or see their website on https://www.womensaid.org.uk
North Devon Against Domestic Abuse Call on 01271 321946 or see their website on https://www.ndada.co.uk
More Positive Me work with people who have been impacted by Domestic Abuse to help them find the strength and skills to lead fullfilled and happy lives. See their website on www.morepositiveme.co.uk
Support Through Court in Exeter Call on 01392 415335 or their national helpline on 0300 0810006 or see their website on https://www.supportthroughcourt.org
Men's Advice Line is a helpline for malesurvivors of domestic abise. Call 0808 500 2222 See mensadviceline.org.uk
National Domestic Abuse Helpline (England) provides 24 hour helpful offering support and advice on doemstic abuse and can put womedn in touch with local refuses. Call 0808 2000 247 www.nationaldahelpline.org.uk

· Domestic abuse perpetrator support

Respect Phone Line – Call them on 0808 8024040 or see their website at https://respectphoneline.org.uk
Respect – see their website at https://www.respect.uk.net
Dinah Mears – see their website at www.exetertherapy.co.uk
Ahimsa - call them on 01752 213535 or see their website at https://www.ahimsa.org.uk

For children who have experienced abuse in their family

Testimonials

The mediations sessions that my husband and I received helped us enormously to discuss in an amicable way our finances going forward in our divorce and therefore reaching a settlement amicably. The sessions we received via zoom worked extremely well especially as my husband was then living abroad enabling us to carry on with the process in a manner which didn't instigate relationship tensions which both parties felt developed during negotiations with our respective solicitors.

Adrienne remained professional and sensitive to the upset and trauma that divorce can cause to either party. I felt that her mediation was clear, time efficient and with the ability to diffuse situations which at times became heated in a gentle but controlled manner.

I would most certainly have no hesitation in recommending Adrienne to anyone who unfortunately finds themselves going through a divorce. I would like to add that mediation not only saved my husband and I most certainly large solicitor fees but more than this it has enabled us to separate in an amicable way which at one time felt impossible. After 11 years of marriage this has been a gift in order to remember the good that we had together and not to be bitter because of the nature of the divorce process.

I can't fully express really just how helpful, reassuring and supportive I found working with you to be. You helped me to find a way through such difficult discussions and decisions at such a confusing and vulnerable time. Thank you so very much.

I was really pleased with it. I felt comfortable that we were going through things with a level headed, tactful guide.

I cannot think of any way to improve your service. It was especially tricky through lockdown and the fact that we were able to keep meeting in a safe, supportive and productive way was amazing.

Mediation with you exceeded my expectations. Having had several sessions with a different mediation service, I was apprehensive and actually pretty fearful of how the process would leave me feeling. You always made me feel reassured and I felt that our family was in good hands. Your calm and sensitive approach, along with your considerable expertise was invaluable and I so appreciated your honesty and objectivity. I always felt listened to and that the whole experience was impartial and balanced, with the welfare of the girls at the centre of everything. I would have been happy and confident for you to meet with the girls had we reached that point, knowing that you would be sensitive to them and their needs too.

Thank you so much for all your help and advice. I have found the experience invaluable and still often refer back to some of the things we talked about to guide my decisions and actions.

You were very helpful and approachable and fair. You kept us on track when conversations went off on a tangent & allowed us to reach a satisfactory conclusion.

I would highly recommend Adrienne Cox for any couple who is going through a divorce ( and especially where a young child is involved as was in our situation ). Adrienne is very professional, highly skilled and knowledgeable.

It has been a long road with many ups and downs between myself and my husband but Adrienne has always remained very professional, neutral and very patient. We got there in the end, thanks to Adrienne,with an amicable, healthy relationship between ourselves which is the best outcome possible for our Son and a clearer future for us all.

I was very impressed with your professional service and the way the sessions were conducted in a calm and understanding environment.

I am satisfied and convinced that I couldn't have found a more competent, professional and sympathetic mediator and mediation service than that offered by yourself and your mediation service.

Just to let you know that the consent order has now been approved, the house transferred and the decree of absolute through, so all done and dusted thanks to mediation.

I didn't know what to expect having never been through it before but was very satisfied with your service. I really didn't know where to turn but your service really helped me.

The client reported that the mediation with you was really good. You were understanding but firm and he said he thought they had all come away from mediation feeling progress had been made with them all having compromised.